In the last few weeks the same theme has been finding its way around to me – haunting me you could say.
I’ve always been the type person who was not very confident with myself, my body, my life. I know women struggle with this but it seems I struggle with this A LOT!!! I try not to act like it in public but in private it just takes over.
It’s been harder since July, 2013 – almost 5 years ago. I actually stepped out of my comfort zone this week and done something I would have never imagined doing. I actually went and spoke to a group of adults at a Church – What? Me? The country girl who is loud and doesn’t speak eloquently. Yep! It was me!!
It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done – well except for having my 10 pound baby. Why you ask? Well I’m about to be very honest and I’m sure it’s going to hurt BUT I have to do it!!!
First, I’m a red head. I knew growing up I was different. Everyone else had blonde or brunette or brown hair and I had RED. Who wants RED hair? It’s different. Why did I have to be different? Why couldn’t I have black hair like my dad?
Second, I’m country. If you have ever heard me talk you know I have a country accent. Now there have been times I’ve tried to change it and act differently. BUT GUESS WHAT??? The country would come out eventually. I couldn’t help it. It was me. I was country and I had an accent.
Third, I don’t speak very eloquently. I did have to go to speech class in kindergarten and first grade. I still have problems at time. People may pick on me and I may laugh with them but deep down inside I’m dying.
Fourth, I talk loud and laugh very loud. I can’t help it. I was a cheerleader for 6 years, I guess more because I was loud than I was talented. People may look at me when I laugh crazy, but I can’t help it. It’s me. I talk and laugh loud.
And lastly, a high school education is all I have. I went to college but had to come home. I did get a diploma from ECPI but it was nothing to jump up about – I didn’t even go to graduation. They had to mail it to me. I’ve tried going back to school a couple of times but either life happened or a health condition happened.
Now before I go farther – I’m not looking for you feeling sorry for me or anything like that. I’m trying to explain where I’ve been and where God is leading me.
As I said at the beginning the last few weeks, maybe a month or so, God has been speaking to me. It seems He has been speaking to me with the same thing over and over and over. But the devil has also been speaking to me. He has been speaking the same thing over and over and over.
BUT I’VE GOT TO REMEMBER, GOD IS GREATER! GOD HAS THE POWER! GOD CREATED ME! GOD HAS THE ANSWERS! GOD HAS A PURPOSE AND A PLAN FOR ME!
Haven’t we all asked sometime for a clear answer to what God wants us to do? Haven’t we all asked God to tell us what He wants us to do?
Well I have decided all these things I keep reading and seeing could be from God. They could be His way of speaking to me.
Today I received an email from Max Lucado (here is a link to it) and I received an email from Steven Furtick (hers is a link to it). Let’s just say I believe God is speaking to me – well maybe HE got my attention.
I’m me for a reason.
I’m me not you.
I’m me for a purpose.
I’m me not anyone else.
There is only one me.
I’ve got to decide that I’m me and no one else! I’ve got to decided that if God asks me to do it He has equipped me! I’ve got to decide to do what God has called me to do!
I’m sure with graduations finishing up there are a lot of teenagers and young adults who may feel this same way. They don’t know what to do next. They don’t know what God is calling them to do. I can say I’m almost 45 years old, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do many days.
I’m not even sure I have done what God called me to do the last 45 years because I kept looking at YOU. I kept looking at the five things above that made me different.
Well I’ve decided to look at those 5 things above differently now. Just see how looking at them through God’s eyes, through the eyes who made me, can change the totally.
Red-headed – God didn’t want everyone to have the same hair color. He decided He wanted me to be a little different – He wanted me to stand out maybe.
Country – I talk country. God didn’t want me to grow up in the North or in another country. He wanted me to grow up in JOCO and He wanted me to talk like I was – country.
Speech – God made me to talk the way I do because maybe people like me can relate to me better. God wants me to reach people like me – who don’t speak eloquently but have other qualities, other gifts, other talents besides speaking.
Loud – God made me loud and happy. Maybe He wanted someone to hear me or maybe He wanted someone to hear my laugh so they would smile. Maybe He wanted me to be able to get peoples attention.
High School Education – God decided college wasn’t for me. God decided I could reach more people with my high school degree than with a college degree. God decided my experience from life and jobs was just as good as a college degree.
God is telling me to stop looking at you. God is telling me I’m me for His plans for His purpose.
Just like You are You because that’s what God created you to be. He didn’t want everyone to be like You or Me. He wanted everyone to be who He created them to be!
Galatians 6:4-5 MSG Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.
Be You not Me and I will be Me and not You!!